The day I came out of a vagina

A holiday that occurs every 365 days in celebration of freedom from the mother's womb.

a day to celebrate that you havent died in in the last year

the day signifying that you're another year closer to your eventual and innevitable decay.

the one time of year when all the random kids from 8th grade feel like they should post on your wall because they'll be a good person. in reality, no one gives a shit.

Something not celecrated by Jehovah's Witnesses.

the day nine months after the condom broke